Etc., etc., and so forth.

I am in love with iGoogle's hilarious gestalt of How To's today:

1. How to leash train a cat
2. How to grow citrus fruits

and, which I know is at the top of my list of things to learn:

3. How to survive a school or workplace shooting.

****

Ooooh, look who's pleading guilty. What a selfish prick. I don't know....for some reason I feel that animals being killed is just so much sadder than when humans are killed. Maybe it's the fact that animals can't necessarily understand what's happening until it's happening, or perhaps it's the blind trust that animals - especially dogs - have for people, and then rat bastards like Michael Vick go and senselessly, brutally kill them. I hope he rots while he's in jail, and I hope that the NFL gets a little more stringent on allowing all these thugs back into the League after they've so royally fucked up.

I will now hop off my soapbox.

****

Ok, even though it was cancelled due to bad weather, thanks to the week-long practices prior to the Chicago Air and Water Show, I now know that in the time it takes me to walk my dog, the U.S. Air Force Thunderbirds can complete their flight path around Chicago three times.

In his defense, Mojo's legs are only about four inches high. Walk tall, Little Buddy. You are the slowest dog on Earth.



****

Yesterday I spent my whole day cleaning and disinfecting my apartment, because I have a cleaning lady coming to inspect it on Wednesday, and then tell me how much she'll charge me to clean it once a month.

Steve looked around at my place, pretty much cleaner than it has ever been, ever, and said, "Don't you think we should show her how the place really looks, every day, so she can get a sense of what she's in for?"

Ho HO! Looks like somebody doesn't know the Unwritten Rule that you clean your place up BEFORE the cleaning lady comes, because God forbid a STRANGER learns the depths of squalor in which you normally live! I scoffed in Steve's general direction, as I applied another round of Comet to my bathtub with my right hand and stirred the shower curtain in a bucket of diluted bleach solution with my left.

Men. So misguided.

****

That's about it for me. Oh, wait. Two more things:

1. "Superbad" really was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen; and,

2. Look what I get to see on my way to work every morning:


I know, right? Awesome.