Friday, June 13, 2008

Lip service.

Internets! Word.

So yesterday, I had one of those infuriating situations wherein I could not for the life of me find my
lip gloss. This isn’t saying that I had lost all 453,697 tubes of lip gloss that are scattered throughout my house; I had just lost the one lip gloss that I am currently using and attached to, thereby negating the other 453,696. Anyways, I searched high and lo, lo and high, and nothing came up. What was driving me bat-shit crazy was that I knew – KNEW – that if I bought another one (to the tune of $6.99! Life, you are too expensive), I would find the tube that I lost. However, my lips felt like a dead person’s lips (or what I imagine a dead person’s lips would feel like, I am not talking from experience here), so I broke down and bought another tube.

Flash forward to that evening, when I was sitting in my
normal evening spot, sucking down a couple Fla-Vor-Ices, and I look down at the ground, and what do I see? My lipgloss! Only it was a good thing that I bought another one, because the tube was punctured with several doggie-sized tooth holes! Turns out my gloss had been taken to the Secret Lair (read: under the couch) where my underpants, Steve’s socks, and now apparently sweet-smelling lip gloss go to die.

So it wasn’t completely Crappy Consumer of me to buy a new gloss, I would have needed to anyways.* Which made me feel pretty good. I had decided, though, to go with “Pucker Berry” instead of my “Zesty Red” when I re-bought, because even though people claimed to like the red on my lips, I always felt like “Zesty Red” had me walking that shaky, fine line between “pretty” and “two-bit corner prostitute.” But it turns out that “Pucker Berry” should really just be called “Emily’s Normal Lip Color,” because that’s really all it is. Oh wells. I’m going to protect this tube until it runs out, and then I can re-asses whether “Zesty Red” and I can live in harmony.

*Well, buy another lip gloss to go with the 453,696 that are at home.**
**I should really throw all of those out.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

You ARE my boo.

I desperately, desperately want this t-shirt:

Anderson Cooper, "you're not my boo"

Lovely loveliness.

So I have to give a shout-out where one is due. Chicago really stepped it up a notch this past weekend, weather-wise. It was beautiful, not too hot, not too windy, sunny....heaven! Actually, it was what San Francisco should have been when I was there last month, only instead it was 90 degrees, and because I'm a fragile flower when it comes to heat (read: practically a vampire), I kept on having to sit down, felled by cases of "the vapors."

I think Chicago might have pulled out the weather stops because the lovely
Patti and Jay were in town. As expected, they totally kick ass and take names. Jay even signed my copies of The Plug Anthologies. One day when he's rich and famous, those are going to be worth something, baby.

Here's a weird story, though:

Before I left to go meet Patti and Jay, I was getting dressed and I asked Steve what he though I should wear, not really because he cares or because I care about what he thinks of my outfits, but more because he was there, and I had to muse about it to someone. Anywho, he said, jokingly, "Wear a dress. Be a lady for once." So I punched him in the face, then put on a dress.

So on my way home from Plug signing and drinks, I cut through Wicker Park, and passed a mailman. He looked at me and said, "Lookin' lovely today!" Which I responded to with a smile and a "Thank you," because my mom raised me right. But then - then! He looked at me with this sort of pained expression and went, "You just can't help being lovely, can you." Like I was hurting him with this supposed loveliness or something. I felt guilty. Guilty! I ducked my head and walked away! Stupid mailman!


In other news, I've started back up at school again. Time to finish that Master's, once and for all. So even though I wasn't posting before for no good reason, now I have a totally viable, acceptable one for why I'll be MIA. Which, oddly, makes me feel better about neglecting this blog. Maybe, if I have some time, I'll work on the layout so that it's no longer this pink that burns out your eyeballs. Maybe.