Five things meme

Jeff recently tagged me to post five things that my friends might not know about me. He'd just done it for himself, and I had just finished reading EEK’s entry on 6 reasons why you should date her. Both of these entries were quite hilarious. Needless to say, I have very tough shoes to fill.

Here’s some other reasons I hadn’t done the “5 Things Meme" yet:

a) In real life, I tend to suffer from “diarrhea of the mouth.” There are times when I will be talking to someone, and I actually see his eyes glazing over as I go on and on. By this point, though, oh my God! I can’t seem to stop myself! I keep going! Talking about nothing! Then, afterwards, I writhe in embarrassment that I wasn’t able to shut myself up.

b) I don’t feel like five very notable things have happened to me, yet. Maybe three. I could probably come up with three. Five? Five is going to be a stretch.

But: Jeff is a darling man. I love him to death. So I will do this for him, to maybe fill up some of his time in New Zealand that isn’t spent traveling, meeting awesome people, or surfing. Jeff, I kid. Really he does more than that, I'm just being jealous-y.

So here goes nothing.

1) CREEPY-TOWN BROWN:

Most of the time, the pupils in my eyes are two different sizes. This is from a surgery I had a couple of years ago to remove a benign, egg-shaped tumor from my neck. The funny thing is that noone – not family, the significant other, or myself – noticed this until two years later, when my current boss looked me in the face and said “Why are your pupils two different sizes?”

2) ALL IN THE FAMILY:

Speaking of family, even though they don’t seem to catch little details like my Crazy Eyes, I am ridiculously close with them. The immediate family, that is. The extended family….well, not so much. In fact, my grandpa once referred to me in a Christmas card as “(Mom) and (Dad)’s other daughter.” I forgave him though, may he rest in peace.

No, but really, my mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law and nephew are my Most Important People. Steve is up there, too, but he knows that if he ever did something Unkind to them (and it’d have to be pretty bad, my family worships that guy), he would be out the door in a minute.

I talk to my mom and sister at least every other day (often more), see them maybe once a week, and every June all of us go stay in a small cabin in Wisconsin. And we have fun! Really!

The only drawback to this whole situation is that my family has all settled in the greater Chicagoland area. Steve and I will be able to afford a house anywhere near my sister or my parents in, oh, about 2040.

I think I’m really lucky to have a relationship like this, most of the time. If I really thought about it, though, I could probably equate not really having any close, close friends to my remarkable family relationship, but, you know, why dwell on the negative?

3) I AM A LOSER:

I have never been out of the country. Strike that, I have been out of the country once, which was for five minutes to get gas in Canada. I know, this is a Terrible Thing. I usually like to use the excuse that I’ve been in school forever, but, well, there were study abroad programs I probably could have done, and most of my friends have been in school forever, too, and they've left the U. S. of A. So there's really nothing stopping me except my own inhibitions and my tendency to spend all of my money. Also, one could say that I might just be that lazy that I just don’t take the time to make the plans. I am going to give myself until 2008 to rectify this.

4) STICKS AND STONES:

I have “fat kid syndrome.” By that I mean that I was chubby as a kid, and no matter how thin I might be, there is a little part of me that always remembers what it was like to be mocked and ridiculed. I remember every kid’s name that ever made fun of me. I actually have fantasies of going back in time - with my 2007 cache of insults at hand – and raising hell to each and every one of them. I cry when movies have fat little kids ("Bad Santa" ruined me for days). Part of me thinks it is utterly ridiculous to still be this way, another part of me (the larger part – no pun intended) accepts this as my Status Quo, accepting that I will never be able to unconsciously throw food in my mouth, like some people I know (my boyfriend), without considering what it will do to my (Buddha-ish) belly. Such is life.

5) AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:

If I could have my way, I would forget this 9 to 5 job, or that Master’s degree I’m working on, and just make crafts and miniatures for a living. If anyone knows of any job openings doing exactly that, give me a holler.

*****

That's it. If you haven't fallen asleep by the end of this, you are a very good friend, and a faithful reader. Let's have coffee sometime, you and me.